How to Fix a Marriage-Fixing Your Marriage before It Starts

How to Fix a Marriage-Fixing Your Marriage before It Starts

The statistics are not good. With over half of today’s marriages ending in divorce or separation, marriage is becoming the endangered species of relationships. Part of the problem is that the sacred vows that are the bedrock of a solid marriage are not given much thought in many modern marriages. With celebrities tying and untying the knot faster than a shoelace, marriages that last seem to be a thing of the past. Do not despair! It is possible to learn how to fix a marriage, given enough time and willpower, and the firm belief that your marriage is indeed worth fixing.

The first step needed in the process of fixing your marriage, is of course, recognizing that it does in fact need to be fixed. If you are oblivious to this blinding fact, you may find the eerie silence of an empty house when next you return, or be bewildered by a set of divorce papers served through the mail. Be alert, be vigilant, and you will know how to fix your marriage before it becomes irreparably shattered.

Once you know that your marriage does, indeed warrant fixing, there are several easy steps that must be taken. Firstly, examine your own heart and conduct to determine how much of the problem stems from the “man in the mirror”. Come clean with yourself, and with your spouse. Don’t be afraid to lay bare your heart- if you truly wish to know how to fix a marriage, you cannot fear the vulnerability and intimacy that stem from being completely and wholly transparent. Is your marriage suffering from an improper outside relationship? Sever it. Financial hardships? Seek credit counseling, a short term loan, obtain a second job, sell every unnecessary item, and dig yourself out of a marriage killing debt. Is your relationship with your spouse failing because of an incompatibility in the bedroom? Talk it out!

You must come to grips with the fact that your spouse is your equal partner in this endeavor. This segues into the next salient point- in order for a couple to learn how to fix a marriage, they must BOTH be equally committed to the task. If one partner is adamant that they want out, there is really nothing else that the other partner can do- if they have attempted all changes to self and lifestyle and the problems are still insurmountable, perhaps it may be a lost cause. That being said, there are sometimes issues which just cannot be worked out without outside help.

There are so many wonderful, warm, licensed family therapists available- take advantage of their learning and expertise, as well as their unbiased viewpoint into the workings of your marriage. If a therapist seems like too public a step, seek counsel from a valued friend, a family member in the know, or, if you have a religious affiliation, seek help from a church leader. Strong marriages mean a strong society, and nobody wishes for failure. Work on your marriage every day, pour the best of yourself into it, and you will never be at the place where you need to know how to fix a marriage- it will be impervious to all but the most devastating blows.

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